Monday, May 09, 2005

I'm scare to tell ppl wat happen to me on last week. I scare ppl will scold me tat was wat I desired due to my stupidity, careless & forgetful...Maybe I wish to cheat myself too..I wish tat is no big deal with my mistake coz nobody know it..but...

I admit this was my fault..I didn't pay attention to it after started my plan..And didn't avoid activities tat I shouldn't do on tat period..

So I decided to blog it b'coz I wanna remind myself, I'm not going to make the same mistake again! I hope this will be an alarm for my forgetful, I'm too easy to forgot the 'lecture'.

This was wat happen :~

I live in happiness after gave born to SQ, and I forgetting all the unhappy memories..All my thought was about SQ & fatty..And I think tat everything in the future will be good & nice..without expect of something bad will happen..or I'm just too forgetful...



I started my plan 2 months ago, but due to not regular of menstrual cycle. So most of the time r let it be lah..can't make any calculation of Ovulation or wat..

Since Dai yi ma visited me on end of March liao....So I didn't pay attention to my body signal oso..Like I'm fall in sick for a week long...(yes, tat was a signal to me actually..everytime I got it..) But I tot tat was b'coz of hot weather make me sick ...haii..

I still go for crazy shopping and walk for 2 hours long..I shouldn't do it if I know it early..Coz this was the causes..Just the same as 1st & 2nd...
Day after tat..Dai yi mah visited...I tot my plan was failed, Have to try for another month......

But saturday night after back from dinner...I had the bad experience again...without any signal or notice.....I have no stomachache or wat.. Until I felt something strange and ran to toiler....and I saw -----.

I really......I scream for fatty to help....

and then......

The following days..I was... ..
& .....wat my mama prepared for me ...

&......doing nothing........

If u ask me... am I sad now....I donno..At the time happen sure I am sad..But now, I didn't know how should I or wat should I feel...I have done all the expression on 1st & 2nd..and my brain r has lost the function to think about this again..

I know the only way for me to get out from the guitly r another SQ...And I hope to ease my depression now...

I must remember NOT TO DO the following when start my plan again...

  1. Kai kai, especially shopping which need time more than 1 hour..
  2. Carry SQ..or any heavy thing..
  3. Sleep late..
  4. Ignore body signal...
  5. Do housework (good excuse huh?)..

p/s : thanx for whoever care for me and all blogger, b'coz of visited to ur blog & ur visit to my blog & commenting, I felt u r beside me & talk to me which I felt is importance to me...... :)


11 comments:

Ms One Boobie said...

Hey.. Msau,
Sorry to hear about your miscarriage.. i really am. But do take care of your health.. and you are still young and healthy.. so can try again .. ok.. :) no need to be sad hor.. over liao.. so donch think about it ok. :) must make sure you take care of your body/health.

Mumsgather said...

msau, I'm so sorry. A lot of pregnancies end in miscarriages so try not to feel guilty and blame yourself. You can read this link
to understand a bit more about miscarriages and why it happens.

sqkiki said...

MrsT, I wanna improve my healthy now lah..I wanna make sure myself r ready for next planning..:)

MG, Thanx for the link..its much more useful then doc advice..which always seem like no answer to my Q..

Loc Kee said...

Msau, really sorry for that.
when i read ur post last week, i tot u lost 1st place or 2nd place in toto or what... never thought so seriously.

well tke care of yourself, don't think tooooo much. anyhow you still can be conceived easily.
do take some Vitamin E regularly, got higher chance ma :>

Anonymous said...

don't blame yourself over it. just try to be more careful next time. :) 调养好身体后再接再厉!

Anonymous said...

Is that what will happen if got miscarriage? Don't be so sad. Sometimes it is fated, i guess. Take care and cheer up. I'm sure SQ oso dowan to c u like tat so depress.

sqkiki said...

lockee, toto? wah. my image to u r so lan dou wan meh? hehe..

momof2, tat wat i gotta do lor..eat & rest..this time gotta forget about body shape liao..

icequeen, not all the miscarriage r like mine..it just my case..anyway.I hope it won't happen again..

Unknown said...

msau,this is really sad, and it is the first time i read abt it happening...i didnt know wat happened, until i read the first comment by mrst, call me dense if u want :)
well, good to hear that you are recovering, what's happened has happened, let it be a lesson.
p/s: dun blame urself,ok?

1+2mom said...

I guess a little bit oledi..sorry to hear that.
I didnt try b4, but when i was in the ward b4 i deliver my twins, there had so many case there next to my bed. They told me that the ovum or sperm are not healthy so it reject it. If you think like that you will be feel good abit.
You still young can try next time after your body get ready.

sqkiki said...

Sheen, u don understand coz I didn't 'draw it at wall' mah..I hard to use tat 'm..' word..yeap, I'll try to encourage myself for next wan..

1+2mom,choyyy..no try on this lah...
yalor..dr told me like tat too..its seem like not an answer i wan lor..haii...donno lah..I oso donno wat answer i wan..

5xmom.com said...

What I want to say said on MMB liao hor? Take care and don't blame yourself so much. It is nature's way. 25% of pregnancies ended up in miscarriages. Once, my ob-gyn told me when I had bleeding, she said, what you do or don't do is not going to help. If you are going to lose it, you will lose it.