Regretless Life

Someone left a message to me on MMB Forum for last month happening..and bring me to write this post...She reminded me again, how importance r fatty for me...Coz without him I'm still the person like she said lor..

if i were you.... i will cry n give up hope on my life n blame myself for this...... fyi, i am very weak (in emotion), so i really need all the support that i can get. if not, everyday n nite will think negatively.....

I always give people image of strong & tough..yalah..due to the body size lah...big mah...sure strong wan lah...haii...

In fact, I pretended to be tough lah....I used to control my fear & tear...won cry in front of people lah...very 'love face' wan..don even cry infront of fatty ...but there was an exception...

Almost a year after my 1st miscarriage, I was put all my hope in the 2nd pregnancy..I rest well, eat well..go to checkup every week..do everything just to save her..But lost her still...Tat time I act very strong..I didn't cry at all & didn't talk about it oso...No one know wat I'm think and how I feel, included fatty....

I'm scared to be a pitier, to avoid those pity-eyed..I told them It was a test error..I have no pregnant actually..Of coz, fatty was the only person know it...I had cheated them sucessfully..no one suspect my lie...I wish this lie was cheated me too..

B'coz of my silent...My temper become very bad & always look for fight ..(of coz I donno at the time lah)...Until a day...almost bring me to apart with fatty...

One day, I'm mumble fatty again on the way to breakfast..I complaint how his mother blame me don wan to conceive, asked me shouldn't contracept & so on..(MIL didn't know my case)...The more I heard this kind of say, the more I angry..so I complaint to fatty again & again..I donno I have make him so angry..(coz I 'm angry mah..sure speak many no good thing liao lor)

I very shocked & sad when he said to me : "I donno how to be your husband anymore." in the Kopi restaurant..He refused to talk to me after tat...After back home, he kept away from me, and I just hide at bedroom & cry lor..

After few hours fatty came to me and ask for a talk...He hugged me tight and told me, he sense I'm hiding myself from the sadness..he felt the changes of me...He said he never blame on me and I shouldn't blame myself too..He was sad to see me like tat....At tat moment..I can't control myself anymore...I cried like crazy in his hug...

By then I only realised tat..The happen really hurt me, I kept blame on myself tat was my fault to causes it.. I can't forgive myself, everything become terrible in my life..I'm not happy, I oso made many person not happy, expecially the wan I loved...

Actually I'm a really lucky women coz I have fatty who really love me and care about me..Eventho I'm so troublesome, he still being patient to comfort me..and he really a very understanding husband..Without him I think I won't get out from my depression... In cantonese I will say 'kam sang mo fui' (regretless) to married with fatty...

Maybe women sometimes seem angry without reason but if husband can spend a little time & have heart to find out wat happen is it..u will know tat wat causes wife angry..(eventho sometimes tat just a chicken feed)..and able to solve it easily..


(I gotta SMS fatty to read my today post liao, to show him how importance he is in my life..heh)

Words to My Fatty :
I LOVE U!!

FONG W.M., 我要生生世世做你老婆,你咪誓茲意飛得出我手指啦!...